Newly minted managers never take into account that their relationship with their former peers is forever changed. You aren’t the one that they bitch with over lunch. You are the problem now. You are the one they bitch about. Get used to it.
It’s hard, but the sooner you recognize this fact and accept it, the easier your job will be. Everyone bitches about their boss. If you are anyone’s boss, you will be talked about – maybe even hated. That’s part of the game, and every manager must deal with that fact.
Of course they may not be this way to your face. Unless you inspire extreme contempt, your team will be perfectly pleasant and friendly when you are around, and then walk around the corner and rip you to shreds.
Is there anything you can do about it? Not really. You can’t hold it against them in performance evaluations. You can’t confront them about it because it is their right to bitch if that’s how they choose to spend their time on lunches or breaks. Ignoring it is the best thing you can do.
Office Gossip Is Here To Stay
After you’ve been around awhile, you’ll get accustomed to hearing the gossip about you and you may even come to be amused by it. Most commonly you’ll hear about how you don’t really do anything. The brazen ones will jokingly applaud when they see you do something that they deem real work.
Managers are generally under much greater pressure than the average underling and the suggestion that they aren’t working is pretty ridiculous. However, your subordinates will rarely see what it is you do all day, and they almost never appreciate the strain you feel to accomplish goals that are set for you by upper management.
Accept It And Move On
In the end, you’ll just have to accept that people feel differently about you. If you had friends beforehand, your promotion may or may not affect that friendship. They may resent that you moved up and they didn’t. They may congratulate you and stab you in the back. You can’t live your life for them. Be the best manager you can be and, with luck, they’ll come to respect your worth.